*Pledges

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The Prime Minister will banish child poverty

He will also accomplish the following:

A flattening of the Cairngorms

This as a part of a satellite London (boom) building program.

 

AND

The North Sea will be emptied

This will allow proper fracking operations to take place;

Prison will also be abolished

Ex-prisoners (not MPs out after incarceration)

Will build the Wembley-sized extraction pipes.

 

In a bid for international approval-

From the Madrid establishment-not Catalonia

The possession of non-Shakespearean literature

As of Monday next will be judged as suspect.

 

A final edict on any mention of the ‘poor’ as ‘poor’

Lies in putative form with the Adam Smith Institute.

 

* At the Conservative Party Conference

 

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